I'm Only 5

I'm so tired of being here. I'm so depressed on the feelings that I have.

I'm so proud, but I'm pushed down, and I'm hit by a knee. I can't get up. I actually can't move, 'cause the other knee is on my neck.

Is it ok this is happening 'cause I didn't eat all of my food?

When I cry, my mom wipes away all of my tears, but she sits at the table when the knee is in my throat.

Even if my mother said, "Do you want more mashed potatoes?" I would not be able to breathe.

No air. I wonder when the stars come, and will I be in heaven?

The last minute, I get the breath of life. Then he laughs and says, "Did you think I was going to kill you?"

He laughs again.

As his hands release around my neck, and I was hoping for 1 last breath, only for me to have 1 last smile of survival.

I smiled and went along with it like it's the best game I ever played.

Does the day start over, and you're just waiting for the clock to strike choke time, as you're getting choked?

I always wished that maybe I could go to sleep, then wake up and go back to sleep without my favorite monster.

I didn't want to see all the time of fun, as he called it.

I'm now just watching my bedroom door to open. The one that I'm not allowed to lock.

I always take extra breaths, just in case he tries to strangle me.

I'm only 5.