Just Love Me

As you bring me into this life, are you doing it as innocent as I'm being born?

Were you thinking at the moment that you can't wait to beat me and hurt me? What was the date you decided on? Did you have an age?

Were you just waiting to take my innocence...

I remember the day you took all of my childhood and my innocence from me. I remember because it was hard for me to smile after I was bleeding from a punch to my face.

I forgave you 'cause I was 4.

I know that I was afraid that no one else would love me, so I still held on to you as if I was being taken from my protector. That was my dad.

Now I know that you took it all from me. You took me.

How I wish you would have waited, just so I could have a little bit of what was supposed to be my fun part of life.

I had to grow up so fast that I don't even remember being that great little kid that couldn't wait for my dad to come home...

Now I'm me, and I only want to give any child the place in life that we all deserve.

You have ruined my freedom as a young boy. I'm now trying to get it back, but it may never happen.

The only great thing about you is when I found out that you died.

Good for you, good for me.

As I start my life over, and over again, I wonder where the line starts for a new dad that doesn't say I love you with a punch in the face.

I'd rather you just not say anything.

I'd rather be an orphan with the outlook of people walking through to maybe pick me.

Just love me as much as I loved you, the abuser to no end...

You can't pick your parents, but you can forgive in public...

As I look to the clouds, I wish they could hug me in the soft white pillows that cross the sky...