Look Down, I'm Right Here

I don't even know what my dad looks like; how sad is that? I've seen him as I grew up. I want to see him now that I'm older; it makes me cry that I've lost my sight for him. Have I just put him out of my mind? Have I realized he’s just gone? Was he gone a long time ago when I needed him? Did he ever need me? I threw a ball to my dad today but it only landed on the ground. I thought I saw him catch it and I smiled but it only landed in the unwatered grass and rolled into the only muddied puddle of water. I used to see him in my dreams, but when I blinked it was only a remembrance in my mind. I used to dream and smile then I awoke and realized that I was living a nightmare of hope. I now wake up and realize I'm in a nightmare of happiness. I always wish I had an awake dream of my dad really being there for me. My friends have a dad, just wondering when I had one, why did he never pay attention to me? Hi, my name is Todd, you’re my dad, I'm right here. No, look down, I’m really short… I'm just a kid, I'm your son. I pulled on his pant leg but he never looked down. I wish I knew what he looked like… He walked over me like I was a muddy puddle of water…